Better Decisions with Values

Being a control freak,  I have always had difficulty making  quick decisions or taking immediate action. It’s easy when I have the time to overanalyze the hell out of everything and make an “educated guess.”  This method works well for things that require some planning like a new workout program, a vacation  or an investment. Regardless, I know I  will never be able to fully predict the future or consequences of the choices I make.

Life happens

It wouldn’t be any fun if you had the time to research, compare and calculate every decision you needed to make. Life is unpredictable and it will throw stuff at you: it could be a business opportunity, an invite to a social event, a chance to try a new skill or simply what to have for lunch. In reality we don’t have a whole lot of control over what choices we  will have to make  day by day.

So what do we do?

1. We could be reactive and act based on our instincts.
2. We could make a value based decision.
   
3. For  repetitious decisions, we can automate it using habits & routines.

Today we are going to talk about number 2

Reactive VS Value Based Decisions

Our brains have been wired for survival, they haven’t changed too much since the days of  our tiger fighting ancestors. This is problematic because our intincts say things like “eat that bucket of ice cream,” They make us feel like everything is life threatening,  like asking a cute girl(or guy) for their phone number  makes our bodies feel like we just encountered a tiger.

              

The alternative is to make a value based decision which generally leads to better outcome, but may require a sacrifice to one’s immediate physical or emotional comfort.  Our instincts might say eat the entire tub of ice cream which provides a very short lived reward, yet reacting this way might have some long term consequences (obesity, type 2 diabetes, Eating disorders, etc.) If we are aware that we value our Health, we would see  this thought as being unhelpful towards our goal and maybe just have a spoonful of ice cream. Making value based decisions takes a certain level of mindfulness and discipline but will always take us one step closer to living the life we have always desired.

Learning how to make Value based decisions

1. Know your values

Write your values down and keep them in a spot that is visible. Take some time do this and make sure they are concise, examples of core values are: Health, Truthfulness, Strength, Education, Compassion, Creativiy, Etc. This  will serve as a reminder and create a refined focus of what you want most out of life.

Don’t know your Values?

If you don’t know your values, think of what things you tend to do naturally, you might frequently attend social events in which case Friendship could be one of your core values. Another way to look at this, is to try visualizing  what your ideal life would look like in 5-20 years; what values are most aligned in creating that vision. If you picture yourself surfing on the waves of a deserted beach,  Adventure & Health could be what you value.

2.  Meditate & Practice Mindfulness

Meditating is important for you to cultivate discipline, gain a better understanding of yourself and allow you recognize when you might be acting on instinct.The health benefits are indisputable, from drastically reducing stress, increasing your immunity to ironically improving your productivity.

The key to meditation is to start small and be consistent; Don’t expect yourself to jump into doing an hour of meditation each day. I used to think meditation just didn’t work for me but that’s because I was never made a habit or I would set my expectations to high.  and concetrate on forming the habit. If you’re like me and a super task orientated get shit done type of person, I suggest you start by doing as little as 5 minutes per day and treat like a appointment.

New To Meditation? Check out my article: Get Started: Mindfullness Meditation

3. Take steps towards living  a life of integrity

The word Integrity means  being in a state of complete honesty and wholeness; your actions must be one with your values & beliefs. When we harmonize our actions with our values, we become fearless of making mistakes. By acting in this way, no matter what the outcome is, we ultimately  get closer to being the person we want to be.

This can prove to be challenging at times because it takes a lot of will power and awareness to implement into every aspect of your life. No one ever quit smoking, raised $100,000  for charity, became an artist and lost 50 lbs in two months.(If you have I’d like to take you out for a coffee) Fortunately, with each step in the right the direction,  there will be more momentum to take the next right step. Making value based certainly doesn’t happen overnight, here’s a couple ways to start:

 Identify 3-4 little ways you compromise your values. Commit to change

Here are some examples:

• You value Connection but you’ve been putting off coffe with an old friend.
• You value Health but you decide to take the elevator instead of the stairs.
• You value Learning but you’ve come late to every class you’ve attended this week.

 Set the Right Goals

• When setting a new  goal make sure the intention aligns with your values before commiting. If you don’t truly value  what you’re doing, you will likely blow it off.
• Make sure they are SMART Goals, which means they’re: Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic and Time based
• Whether or not you succeed, reflect did the process get you closer to what you value

 Be accountable to yourself

• Once you’ve planned some actionable ways to start living up to your values, you can make  yourself accountable.   Tell people close to you what you plan on doing, create social pressure, you might even go as far creating some form negative reinforcement by writing out a check to a friend to cash if you don’t take action.
• In fact, there are some beautifully cruel apps  out there that will do this for you. I recommend you check out PACT or stickK

Putting it all together and Being Patient

There is no doubt that living by your values can be life changing. If this is a new concept for you, it will probably be a long process and you will struggle at first. Taking the time, to reflect on what you actually value can be hard enough, let alone being mindful enough to act in a way that honours those values. Just take comfort in the fact that everytime you make a value based decision by going against your impulses, you are literally changing your brain .

Thanks for Being Curious

-Jake Pierce